Guided Reflection

Zero Negativity

Connection can be disrupted by words, tone, expressions, silence, or other interactions that feel hurtful or dismissive. This guided reflection will help you consider how you want to notice those moments, communicate them, and return to connection during the workshop.

There are no right or wrong answers. Reflect honestly and at your own pace.

5–7 minutes Private & confidential 5 questions · 5 sections

Your responses are saved locally on this device as you type.

Recognizing Disconnection

Begin by noticing the kinds of interactions that can interrupt your sense of connection.

Q1 What kinds of interactions tend to feel negative or disconnecting to you?

Consider words, tone, expressions, silence, gestures, or other behaviors that can feel hurtful or dismissive.

Examples

A sharp tone of voice · Being interrupted · Eye rolling · Sarcasm · Criticism · Blame · Being dismissed · Feeling ignored · Being talked over · Silence used to shut down the conversation · Mocking · Name-calling · Defensiveness · Accusations · Walking away without explanation · Facial expressions that feel contemptuous · Being corrected while sharing · Feeling minimized · Harsh body language · Raising voices

Please share your reflection before continuing.

Your Signal

Choose a simple way to communicate that you have experienced a rupture.

Q2 What word, phrase, or signal would you feel comfortable using when you experience an "ouch"?

Choose something brief that communicates hurt or disconnection without escalating the moment.

Examples

Ouch · Pause · Can we slow down? · That landed hard · I'm feeling disconnected · Can we try that again? · I need a moment · That did not feel good to me · A raised hand · A hand placed over the heart · A gentle tap on the table · A phrase we agree on together

Please share your reflection before continuing.

What Supports Repair

Reflect on what helps you become ready to reconnect after a difficult moment.

Q3 What helps you feel safe enough to reconnect after a rupture?

Think about what helps your nervous system settle and makes a repair conversation feel possible.

Examples

A calm tone of voice · A brief pause · Taking a few slow breaths · Feeling acknowledged · Hearing that my experience matters · Curiosity instead of defensiveness · A sincere apology · A gentle re-do · Being asked what hurt · Slowing the conversation down · Reassurance · Eye contact · Physical space for a few minutes · Knowing we will return to the conversation · A caring touch when welcome · Feeling listened to without interruption · An appreciation · Humor when appropriate · A clear commitment to try again

Please share your reflection before continuing.

How You Want to Respond

Focus on the response you want to practice when your partner communicates hurt or disconnection.

Q4 How would you like to respond when your partner signals an "ouch"?

Describe the response you want to choose before defending, explaining, or correcting.

Examples

Pause before responding · Take a breath · Listen without interrupting · Ask what felt hurtful · Stay curious · Avoid immediately defending myself · Acknowledge my partner's experience · Lower my tone of voice · Offer a re-do · Ask how I can say it differently · Validate that the interaction felt painful · Apologize when appropriate · Give my partner time to settle · Return to the conversation when we are both ready · Offer an appreciation · Remember that impact matters even when harm was not intended

Please share your reflection before continuing.

Practicing Appreciation

Intentional appreciation helps place attention on what is valuable and connecting in the relationship.

Q5 How would you like to practice appreciation during the workshop?

Choose a simple and realistic way to intentionally notice and express what you value.

Examples

Share three appreciations each day · Begin difficult conversations with appreciation · Notice my partner's effort · Thank my partner for listening · Express something I admire · Name one moment when I felt connected · Acknowledge when my partner tries something new · Share appreciation before going to sleep · Write down things I value about my partner · Express gratitude for attending the workshop together · Notice small acts of care · Offer appreciation after completing a dialogue

Please share your reflection before continuing.

My Workshop Commitment

Take a moment to turn your reflection into a conscious choice. This commitment is not about being perfect. It is an intention to notice moments of disconnection and practice returning to connection.

I am committed to practicing Zero Negativity during this workshop by noticing moments of disconnection, communicating them respectfully, responding with curiosity, and making a genuine effort to repair.

Please confirm your workshop commitment before continuing.

Receive Your Reflection Summary

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Please complete all five reflections, confirm your commitment, and provide your email before continuing.

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